Walking in Memphis (or Not)

It took three hours, but I think I might have possibly found a hotel in Memphis that I won’t be petrified to stay in.

If you’re from Memphis (which is indeed that city buried in the big blob of ninjas, fists, and unspeakable ?s), I am so sorry. Not that you’re from Memphis. I know some awesome people who are from Memphis. I’m sorry your city scares the bejeebers out of me. But when every conversation wherein I mention we’re planning on a stop at Graceland results in the other person inevitably saying, “You’re not staying near Graceland, though, right? You know you have to be careful. You have to watch Memphis,” it’s hard not to be a little on edge.

So three hours, four crime map websites, six hotel/hotel chain websites, and probably a good 50 miles of virtual walking on Google Maps later, perhaps we’re not in the murder district.

Staying safe on the road with just me and my kid is obviously paramount. We’re taking precautions along the way…and here. This blog, for instance, will likely post a day or so behind us. You may see maps of where we’ve been, but not of where we’re going. Our hotel reservations are so highly secretive that even I don’t know where we’re staying yet. There are other things in place, but if I told you, I’d have to kill you. And, yes, I have damn good aim, thanks.

But even Annie Oakley gets nervous sometimes, and in those times, Annie Oakley is glad for the wisdom o’ the internets. I Snopes every forward that comes into my mailbox, but show me a map of violent crimes in a city billed by Forbes as the 4th most dangerous in the country and thy statistics beist gospel. I don’t care how many “safe area” reviews Travelocity wants to throw at me, I am going to freak out at every spray can icon. Because heaven forbid we encounter a Banksy-wannabe.